Many of us skip from lover to lover, taking joy in the fleeting touches of strangers with whom we share love sometimes for days, sometimes for weeks. The excitement of the first few nights vanishes and, as everyday reality sinks in, you realise that the connection of the body has not translated into a deeper connection of minds. And you move on to the next one.
In a world ruled by Tinder, finding love isn’t easy. As the option to consume more products—or men—becomes easy, every new man you find becomes a little easier to get, a little easier to let go. So stopping at a station becomes difficult—because one’s instincts have become so used to moving from one train compartment to another.
So how do you know if you are missing out on a possibility of a deeper bond that could sublimate you into a new level of experience? Watch out for these 5 crucial signs.
- You have shared interests that are much more than hobbies
This is the most crucial sign. Being able to watch movies or smoke up endlessly is not a strong enough reason for you to be together. Are you able to talk about deeper issues that concern you, can you think of ways to do something together that is creatively satisfying? It could be learning a dance form or a new language, or raising a child together.
- You can resolve arguments amicably
Fights can go out of hand especially when the ego takes over. So it is essential to slow down and let reason prevail. Make a list of negotiable and non-negotiable topics of argument that are relevant for you, and let go of the negotiable ones. It really helps to sustain peace.
- You give each other space to grow
The biggest gift you can give yourself and your partner is the space to grow as an individual. Any relationship revolves on the twin pillars of love, which comes from mutual caring, and desire, which emanates from the aura of mystery that your partner oozes. And there’s no better way to stimulate desire than rediscovering the same person in a new light.
- You are your natural selves around each other
One cannot emphasise enough on this vital aspect of being in a relationship. Many of us tend to be so madly into our partner that we lose touch with who we are. And that’s dangerous. Because your growth is as important as keeping the chemistry alive. More important perhaps. Because, unless you know you are, you will never know how to connect with another.
- You can travel together
When you are travelling, you end up spending large chunks of time with one another. Also, since you are away from your regular routine, your real self rears its head in a relaxed setting and you end up being more honest and open than you otherwise would. So travel can make or break a relationship. Ideally, you should be able to enjoy the novelties of the place you are visiting and have conversations around the new sights. Whether it is relaxing together with a bottle of beer by the beach or walking through the corridors of an ancient Indian palace, the new stimulations should add to the richness of your experience of being together.
- You have fabulous sex
Last but not the least, it’s obviously the sex that is the centre piece of the puzzle. Intimacy can be inflamed by any of the factors above—and more. The triggers of sex will always be a question mark, but if you are both able to roll together on the carpet for hours, then it is a sign to keep your man around you.